How to live in the flow

Most of us have heard the terms to be in the zone or flow, referring to when you are fully immersed into a task. You are so absorbed that you forget about time and space and even about yourself. It’s only you and that activity you are doing. You are so present, you are so in the reality, so in the flow, 100% awareness.

Some people have experienced it at their work, when they are creating something, coding, art, poetry, playing tetris. These are moments of flowing.

What if this could be your life, that you are so present, so full of bliss the whole time that it feels like you are just flowing through life, enjoying every moment fully?

Good news is there is a way. And many traditions have supported this. I want to share with you the 2 key elements that have helped me and many others to actually live in the flow:
1- Understand what you want and how to achieve it.
2- Understand how you want to live your life.

What you want and how to achieve it

The first step seems logical. If you know what you want and how you get there, you can start taking action towards your goals. Check. And there are a series of things you can do that will help you to maintain yourself focused and disciplined.

One thing is to find a strong motive. Why do you want what you want? Do you want to reduce hours at work in order to spend more time with your family or for your hobbies? Which then brings you more wellbeing. Do you want to have a pay raise, so you can afford to buy a house?

Be clear on the what and the why

Next comes the prioritization of action points that you need to accomplish to get there. Talk to your manager, acquire new skills, save money, etc. You might encounter some blockers on your way there. You are afraid to ask your boss for a pay raise. Or you have asked but you will not get one, etc. Here is a point, where most people would give up, and start the destructive self-talk “I am not good enough”, “I should have known better” “I will always stay in this job”, etc. You have to stop that. Because that self-talk will eat you alive. Change your beliefs about yourself, about what you are capable of and come back to your motive. That is why you need a strong motive, that will keep you pushing toward where you want to go.

The first part is all about taking action. It takes courage to actually do the things that will bring you closer to your goals. Stepping out of the comfort zone. Not just once, but whenever it’s needed. Never to give up. It’s about changing your energy levels, changing your habits and doing things that will bring you closer to your goal. But only mastering the art of achieving things will not bring you into a flow state. It will more likely take you to crossing off things on your checklist. Which might bring you some level of satisfaction at first, but at some point you will ask yourself why it is not bringing you this feeling of joy anymore. This leads us to the second part.

How you want to live your life

Here we learn about letting go of the outcome, the results, and what you want. It almost seems counterintuitive, or contradicting point 1. But it’s not. Because the goal is, to not make the outcome dependent on your well being, of your inner life. Otherwise you will always be a slave to outcomes, to whether things are happening the way you want them to be. There is nothing wrong with wanting things, wanting a pay rise or reducing hours. The problem appears when these things NEED to happen in order to be fulfilled. Then you have a problem.

Everything that is happening in front of you is already perfect as it is. It’s about being able to surrender (not to give up) to the things that are unfolding in front of you, without having to control them. Seeing the reality as it really is. That part usually tends to be the trickier one. Because our society conditions us to look for our well being outside. When this happens, then happy. How can you then “forget” about the outcome about your goal and at the same continue pursuing it, while being so present that you will live in the flow? It is called knowing without thinking.

Imagine you want to go from A to B. You don’t have to actively think the whole time “ok, I’m going to walk to the metro, then I am going to take it, then…..”. You already know. That is the “knowing” I am talking about. So, you can become free of the results, reaching your destination, and fully concentrate on the now, on the walking, being aware of the present, without expecting it to be in a certain way. Because this is where life happens. Not in our minds, but in reality. The key to flowing is finding that appreciation in every moment. What other opportunities are waiting for you out there. What plan has life for you? If you can fully concentrate on the now, you will create a gap between the mental chatter and what is actually happening. It’s like an awakening to the reality you are living in.

That is the end of suffering, as the buddhist call it. The mind created the suffering. Because it constantly wants things to be a certain way. And yes of course you can create what you want. But your happiness should not depend on it! That is the important message. You can create all the action plans you want, if you want to create a business it’s about understanding what needs to happen to get you there. But then every day you get out of bed and things don’t go the way you want them to go. If you want them to be only in a certain way then you get unsatisfied, disappointed. It’s about letting go of how things should be.

To live in the flow is to fully appreciate what life offers you in every single moment. It’s to develop the awareness of being present, observing yourself. You surrender yourself to life. Because there is a much greater force to it. And that awareness can only exist in the now. The mind creates the future and the past.

Being in the now, living in the now, and that is when you can start flowing.

We will offer a seminar on “How to live in the flow” 25 and 26 July 2020. Sign up below for more information.